Growing a Love That Lasts—Part Two

Pastor Rick Warren opens with a blunt observation: the third time you need to show grace in a marriage is when your partner sins—against you, against God, or against others. This is not hypothetical. It is inevitable. And the biblical command for how to handle it comes from 1 Peter 4:8: "Let your love for one another be intense, because love covers over a multitude of sins." Warren's central argument is that lasting love is not a feeling but a set of deliberate choices, and he builds the case around three specific actions drawn from 1 Corinthians 13:7: extending grace, expressing faith, and expecting the best.

Extending Grace Over and Over

"A great marriage is simply the union of two great forgivers," Warren says. He and his wife Kay have what he calls a great marriage, but he is clear about why: "She's a great forgiver. I've learned to be a great forgiver. And a great marriage is not a perfect marriage. It's a marriage of two great forgivers." The key word is choice. Grace is not a one-time decision. Warren has his audience write down: "I must choose to extend grace over and over and over." It is daily work, applied when flaws irritate you, when words or actions hurt you, and when your partner sins. Colossians 3:13 reinforces the point: "Put up with each other and forgive each other as quickly and as completely as the Lord forgave y