Stavros Halkias, The Clippers Go To Jail, Mt Rushmore Duel, CFB Week 1 + Fyre Fest

September 4, 2026

AI Summary

5 min read

Stavros Halkias, the Clippers' Death Penalty, and the Art of Not Trying Too Hard

The Los Angeles Clippers lost five first-round draft picks—2029, 2030, 2031, 2032, and 2033—plus a $30 million fine, a one-year suspension for owner Steve Ballmer, and a six-month suspension for general manager Lawrence Frank. All because of a scheme involving Kawhi Leonard's uncle Dennis, fake endorsement deals with companies like Aspiration, and a pattern of cap circumvention that Pablo Torre had been reporting on for years. "The big winner of this," one of the hosts noted, "Pablo Torre, friend of the program. He was right through and through."

The Clippers' Reckoning and Who Actually Pays

The punishment stems from the NBA's investigation into the Clippers' recruitment of Kawhi Leonard, which involved Uncle Dennis negotiating improper benefits that violated league rules. The hosts walked through the math: the Clippers originally traded Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, five first-round picks, and two pick swaps to get Kawhi, and now those future picks are gone too. Kawhi Leonard, across seven seasons with the Clippers, played an average of 47 games per year, reached one Western Conference Finals (in the bubble), and won zero rings. "That is the worst player acquisition of all time," one host declared.

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What you'll learn

1 (00:05) **Show Open & Ad Reads** - The hosts run through a series of advertisements for DraftKings, Body Armor, and Surviving Barstool before introducing the day's topics.
2 (03:17) **The Clippers' "Death Penalty"** - The crew breaks down the NBA's severe punishment of the LA Clippers for cap circumvention involving Kawhi Leonard.
3 (22:06) **Driver's Licenses & Other Sports Headlines** - The show briefly covers a few quick-hit sports stories, including Tony Romo and Tiger Woods losing their licenses, and Deshaun Watson being a "winner" in the Clippers scandal.
4 (26:58) **College Football Week 1 Preview** - The crew discusses the upcoming college football slate, highlighting key matchups and the excitement of the season's start.
5 (33:57) **Mount Rushmore Duel: Zach vs. Hank** - The long-awaited head-to-head Mount Rushmore duel begins, with the loser facing an undetermined punishment.
6 (56:11) **Interview: Stavros Halkias** - Comedian Stavros Halkias joins the show in-studio to promote his new Netflix special and discuss his recent career blow-up.
7 (93:55) **Office Updates & Ice Cream** - The crew gives Stavros a tour of the new office's amenities and shares updates on various co-workers.

+ Full timestamped outline available in the app

Show Notes

The Clippers are in NBA Jail. We talk about the massive penalty Adam Silver laid down on the Clippers after the Kawhi/Tree Scandal. Possible alternative punishments and winners and losers (00:00:00-00:21:16). CFB Week 1, Tiger and Romo taking Ubers and other stories (00:21:16-00:32:23). Zac and Hank have their Mt Rushmore duel to finish off Mt Rushmore season (00:32:23-00:57:13). Stavros Halkias stops by in studio to talk about his new special out September 8th on Netflix, Ravens, the fact that idiots like us are doing well and tons more (00:57:13-02:07:52). We finish with Fyre Fest of the week and Hank has an existential Golf crisis after the Grudge Match in Florida.

You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Netflix. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/pardon-my-take