A Fake NFL Player, Real Football Returns, and the Mount Rushmore of Heavy Things

The San Diego Zoo Safari Park recently welcomed Matu Mani, a 33-year-old Western Lowland Gorilla from Cedric County Zoo in Kansas. The hosts broke this news exclusively on the podcast—a free acquisition, not a trade, part of the American Association of Zoos and Aquariums' species survival plan. The gorilla joins a "bachelor party troupe" at the zoo, just dudes hanging out waiting for their number to be called. But this was far from the strangest football-related story of the week.

The DeJahn Love Saga

The internet's favorite scammer, DeJahn Love, did not make the 49ers' 53-man roster. This is funny because he was never actually an NFL player—he was allegedly running a $1.3 million scam pretending to be one. The hosts walked through the absurd details: Love carried a helmet everywhere, wore 49ers gear constantly, posted fake workout videos (running slow routes on sand with his foot turned the wrong way), and even reposted actual NFL players' clips as his own. He claimed he couldn't close his pinky all the way from an injury, had a fake college career, and employed an 18-year-old friend as a "financial advisor" to bleed his dates dry with fake investment schemes.