Orthodox Parents and Their LGBTQ Children, with Rabbi Yakov Horowitz (260)

August 24, 2025

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5 min read

Orthodox Parents and Their LGBTQ Children

When Rabbi Yakov Horowitz invited a dozen LGBTQ young people to his home for a three-hour lunch, he asked them a simple question: "What can I do to help you?" The answer broke his heart. "Tell people to stop saying hurtful things to us," one said. "That's it? That's all you want from me?" Horowitz replied. "Yeah," the young person said. That conversation, eight years ago, marked a turning point in Horowitz's work. Since then, he has become a senior family support mentor at Kesher Families, an organization founded in 2022 that provides guidance to Orthodox parents raising LGBTQ children. The organization now serves 260 member families from 11 countries, with services free of charge and a heavy emphasis on confidentiality.

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What you'll learn

1 (06:03) **Kesher Families: Origin and Mission** - Rabbi Horowitz explains the founding of Kesher Families by Rabbi Menachem and Rabbanit Sendina Penner in March 2022, driven by their personal experience with a gay son and a desire to help other parents avoid a long, lonely learning curve.
2 (10:37) **How Rabbi Horowitz Got Involved** - He describes his personal "triage" system for deciding which difficult issues to prioritize, gravitating toward topics where people have few other resources to turn to.
3 (13:41) **What Rabbi Horowitz Learned from Gedolim and from LGBTQ Youth** - He shares the private guidance he received and the profound impact of listening directly to young people.
4 (16:59) **The Pain of Feeling Unseen** - Rabbi Horowitz relays the poignant pleas he hears from young men and women who feel the community doesn't understand the depth of their struggle.
5 (20:41) **Walking the Narrow Bridge: Balancing Torah and Love** - Rabbi Horowitz addresses the core tension of loving one's child while holding firm to Torah prohibitions.
6 (29:47) **The Number One Request from LGBTQ Youth** - Rabbi Horowitz shares the simple, heartbreaking request he heard directly from young people.
7 (33:16) **Theological Nuance: Beyond Binary Labels** - Scott Kahn and Rabbi Horowitz discuss the danger of labeling a person as a "tzadik" or "rasha" based on their struggle with this single test.

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Guests on this episode

Rabbi Yakov Horowitz

Show Notes

When a child shares something deeply personal about his or her sexual orientation, Orthodox parents can feel love, concern, and uncertainty all at once. In this conversation, Rabbi Yakov Horowitz reflects on what he's learned working with families and communal leaders: how to approach the first conversations, which words can prevent hurt, and where halacha and mesorah guide our choices. We also consider what he's heard from senior rabbinic figures, how different communities navigate these moments, and what hope might look like over time. This is a tender, honest discussion meant to help listeners think carefully, speak gently, and consider their next steps with dignity—whatever they may be.

Check out Tehillim Unveiled with Ari Levisohn and Rav Jeremy Tibbetts on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify - with a new three-part series on Tehillim 27, L'David Hashem Ori, dropping just in time for Elul!

To contact Kesher Families, click here.

Follow Rabbi Yakov Horowitz on Instagram - @yakovhorowitz and @brightbeginningsforum.

We're excited to announce that we at Jewish Coffee House are continuing to expand the conversation by bringing you—our listeners—into the mix. Introducing JCH Q&A, an exciting new podcast where listener-submitted questions are answered in a thoughtful, honest, and engaging way. We plan to dive deep into your pressing hashkafic, political, and philosophical questions. We will address the ideas that matter, the issues that challange us, and the topics that spark real curiosity.

To submit a question for our first episode, you must be a member of the JCH Podcast WhatsApp Community. (Join here.) No question is off limits, and all submissions will remain anonymous. We're looking forward to answering your questions on our first episode!

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