Why Success Never Feels Like Enough

Arthur Brooks opens this episode of Office Hours with a confession: left to his own devices, when his wife took the kids to visit family in Barcelona, he would think, "Now I'm gonna work 16 hours a day." He calls this a "funny addiction," but he is not joking. Workaholism, he argues, is a genuine addiction—one that crowds out real relationships, drives what social scientists call "gray divorce" (divorce after 25+ years of marriage), and leaves people lonely, anxious, and depressed. The episode is a clinical and personal exploration of why success never feels like enough, and what to do about it.

The Three Classical Signs and Four More

Brooks begins by defining workaholism clinically. The three classical signs, drawn from the 1992 "Stone Age" article in the Journal of Personality Assessment, are: working during free time when not expected or compensated; thinking about work when not working; and always going beyond what is required. He adds four more signs from his own research: hiding work from loved ones (snapping a laptop shut when a spouse walks in); feeling lonely because no one understands your relationship with your job; tying your sense of self-worth entirely to work; and seeing relationships deteriorate as a result.