OBITCH DO NOT ENTER!!!

In 2025, a Minnesota funeral director named Benjamin Hansen was arrested for decapitating a 91-year-old woman named Alice Peterson in his work truck before cremating the rest of her body. He then buried her skull at a cemetery, dug it up months later, and eventually dumped it in a wooded area where Boy Scouts found it in 2002. The case went cold for over two decades until the DNA Doe Project identified the skull through genetic genealogy. Hansen was sentenced to just 90 days in jail. That story anchors an episode of OBITCHUARY that moves from absurd science to family estrangement to the grim comedy of ignored warning signs.

Sourdough from a 5,300-Year-Old Mummy

The episode opens with a piece of news from Smithsonian Magazine: researchers successfully made sourdough bread using yeast found on Ötzi the Iceman, whose mummified body was discovered in the Alps in 1991. Ötzi was balding, had numerous tattoos, and carried a cancer-causing strain of HPV. The hosts, Spencer and Madison, react with a mix of horror and fascination. "They said he was going bald, had numerous tattoos, and was infected with a cancer-causing strain of HPV," Spencer says. "And they said, honey, yummy, let's make some bread, bitch." The researchers plan to try making beer next. The hosts note that the study suggests Ötzi "is not a static relic, but a dynamic biological system," though Madison finds the