My ex gave birth to a baby with a complete set of teeth by UnalloyedSaintTrina
September 26, 2026
AI Summary
5 min readThe narrator, Jacob, arrives at his on-again, off-again partner Darlene’s mobile home to see the newborn she claims is his. The baby girl has a complete set of teeth, a jaw nearly the size of her skull, and lips that cannot stay closed. Jacob takes one look and says, “That ain’t mine.” He knows this with certainty because, after catching Darlene poking holes in his condoms the year before, he secretly got a vasectomy. But Darlene is not the kind of person who accepts no for an answer. She has a way of reeling him back in, and this time she has help: her father, a gaunt, jaundiced man with withered tattoos and a mummified rabbit’s paw on his wrist, who has moved into her home and whose church, she says vaguely, “needed to relocate.” Jacob leaves, but he knows he will be back.
The trap is set
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What you'll learn
- 1 (00:00) **Ad Break: Optimum Fiber** - A promotional segment for Optimum fiber internet, offering $30/month for five years.
- 2 (00:57) **The Baby's Teeth** - The narrator meets his ex-girlfriend Darlene's newborn daughter, who has a full set of teeth.
- 3 (03:05) **Darlene's Father, Jacob** - The narrator is introduced to Darlene's father, a deathly ill-looking man named Jacob.
- 4 (05:30) **The Peculiar Structure** - On his way out, the narrator spots a strange, chapel-like shed on Darlene's property.
- 5 (06:24) **A History of Manipulation** - The narrator reveals his toxic history with Darlene and his secret vasectomy.
- 6 (07:11) **Darlene's Pleas and the "Eternity Test"** - The narrator receives a barrage of texts from Darlene, who insists the baby is his.
- 7 (08:58) **The Empty Pub and the Clicking** - The narrator goes to his local pub, where he hears a strange clicking noise.
+ Full timestamped outline available in the app
Show Notes
🖋️ The Author: reddit.com/user/UnalloyedSaintTrina/submitted/
📹 Video!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8ZHIY8FwKM
📖 Read Along!: https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/1viwkoy/my_ex_gave_birth_to_a_baby_with_a_complete_set_of/
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