I'm A Freshman At A Small College In Ohio, Everyone In My Dorm Follows A Strange Set Of Rules.

You are on your spin bike, front row, in new $13 Primark shorts. The instructor is impressed—until she hears where you got them. This ad break, jarring and mundane, is the first clue that something is deeply wrong at Eaton Hall, Southern University. Clayton, a transfer student starting mid-year, is about to learn that the rules pinned to his dorm's bulletin board are not a hazing prank. They are a survival manual.

The Rules of Eaton Hall

Clayton's first day introduces him to his easygoing roommate, Josh, and the dorm's ominous RA, Bryceon, who wears the same black Nirvana shirt and ripped jeans every single day. The rules tacked to the common area bulletin board are a checklist of the bizarre and the terrifying: never leave your room between 2:13 and 3:26 AM because the night janitor works a tight schedule; do not open the door for someone claiming to be the dorm electrician—there is no dorm electrician; if a letter from "Delia" appears in your mini fridge, tear it up and flush it without reading it; if you find human body parts for sale in the vending machines, do not panic, inform the front desk. Rule nine is deceptively simple: do not speak to the little girl in the lobby. Nothing good will come of it.