AI Summary
5 min readThe Harsh Realities of Modern Dating: What Women Actually Want
The Penis Size Paradox
When Macken Murphy presents his research on women's penis size preferences, he describes it as "an emotional roller coaster" for men. The best study on the subject, from Prause and colleagues, used unlabeled 3D models rather than self-reported preferences—a crucial methodological improvement because most people have no idea what specific measurements actually look like. Men overreport their own size by about 21%, creating what Murphy calls a "penis inflation effect" where women learn to associate certain numbers with sizes that are actually smaller.
The results: women preferred 6.3 inches for long-term relationships and 6.4 inches for short-term relationships, with circumference preferences of 4.8 and 5 inches respectively. When men hear these numbers, they typically think "that sounds pretty good" — but the emotional roller coaster comes when you compare these preferences to actual averages. The average erect penis is about 5.16 inches, meaning 6.3 inches is roughly the 95th percentile. "That's about as common as a man being six foot two," Murphy notes.
Continue reading the full summary in the app — free to try.
Read Full Summary →Free • No credit card required
Never miss an episode of Modern Wisdom
Get every new episode summarized in your inbox — free, ~5 minutes to read.
No spam. Unsubscribe anytime.
What you'll learn
- 1 (00:00) **Penis Size Preferences** - Macken presents the gold-standard study on women's penis size preferences, using unlabeled 3D models to avoid misreporting.
- 2 (06:16) **Ideal Mate Preferences vs. Dealbreakers** - Macken explains that ideal preferences (like penis size or height) are often fanciful and not the same as minimum requirements that actually drive rejection.
- 3 (14:41) **The Ollie Murz Body Transformation Debate** - Analysis of a viral poll where women preferred the "dad bod" version of a man over his extremely lean, shredded physique.
- 4 (25:05) **Formidability vs. Mating Effort** - The discussion expands on why men and women see the same physique differently.
- 5 (33:41) **Learning Mate Preferences from Rap Music** - Macken explains how female rap lyrics are a surprisingly honest window into female mate preferences and intra-sexual competition.
- 6 (40:20) **Metal Guitar as Intra-Male Competition** - The discussion shifts to whether playing metal guitar is intersexual advertisement or intra-male status competition.
- 7 (46:19) **Beauty vs. Chastity** - Macken explains that men care more about looks than a woman's sexual history, and that this is a robust finding.
+ Full timestamped outline available in the app
Show Notes
Macken Murphy is an evolutionary biologist at the University of Melbourne, a writer and a podcaster.
Modern dating is in the middle of a cultural reset. Attraction science is evolving, men and women are changing how they show up, and everyone is trying to build healthier relationships. What does the data actually say, and is a more balanced way of dating within reach?
Sponsors:
See discounts for all the products I use and recommend: https://chriswillx.com/deals
Get a Free Sample Pack of LMNT’s most popular flavours with your first purchase at https://drinklmnt.com/modernwisdom
Get a free bottle of D3K2, a Welcome Kit, Travel Packs, plus bonus gifts (US only) when you first subscribe at https://ag1.info/modernwisdom
Get 35% off your first subscription on the best supplements from Momentous at https://livemomentous.com/modernwisdom
New pricing since recording: Function is now just $365, plus get $25 off at https://functionhealth.com/modernwisdom
Extra Stuff:
Get my free reading list of 100 books to read before you die: https://chriswillx.com/books
Try my productivity energy drink Neutonic: https://neutonic.com/modernwisdom
Episodes You Might Enjoy:
#577 - David Goggins - This Is How To Master Your Life: https://tinyurl.com/43hv6y59
#712 - Dr Jordan Peterson - How To Destroy Your Negative Beliefs: https://tinyurl.com/2rtz7avf
#700 - Dr Andrew Huberman - The Secret Tools To Hack Your Brain: https://tinyurl.com/3ccn5vkp
-
Get In Touch:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/modernwisdompodcast
Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact
-
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
More from this podcast
Modern Wisdom →