Relaxed Fit: The 5th Annual Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder

The fifth annual Last Podcast on the Left March Madness of Murder and Mayhem introduces rotating biomes and team formats, with matchups drawn from a hat and environments rolled on an eight-sided die (Ice World, Lava World, Molasses Field, Skyboat, Hardee's Parking Lot, Sixth Street Austin, Minecart Level, Sewers). Biomes provide advantages or disadvantages based on each team's traits, and later rounds reuse prior biomes via coin flips. The tournament pits historical killers, fictional monsters, and oddball groups against each other, with hosts Marcus, Henry, and Ed debating outcomes based on lore, numbers, and environmental fit.

Eastern Conference First Round

Montauk Time Boys (teenage Barack Obama plus time-traveling kids with sonic weapons and a pacifist drone) faced a handful of Chuds (five sewer-dwelling mutants) on Ice World. Chuds' strength ripped apart two or three boys, but ice slowed them, and the boys' sound weapons shattered Chud heads; Obama and remnants advanced.

Reinhard Heydrich plus four exhausted Einsatzgruppen (low on ammo, Soviet winter-hardened) met the 1985 Chicago Bears' starting defense (11 players including Mike Singletary and Richard Dent, anti-Nazi motivated) in a Molasses Field (six inches deep). Einsatzgruppen fired last bullets into William "Refrigerator" Perry, who ate a path through; Bears blitzed and overwhelmed, advancing intact.