The power of giving & receiving advice

The host Brittany Luse opens with a confession: she gives unsolicited advice "very frequently" and worries she's "being annoying to everyone in [her] life." This launches a conversation with NPR producer and author Rhaina Cohen—who wrote The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center—about the psychology of advice in close relationships, when it helps versus harms, and how to handle both giving and receiving it well.

Why advice matters for connection

Cohen argues that advice is "a really potent way for people to connect." When someone has a problem they don't know how to solve, and a friend has been through something similar, the exchange creates closeness. But the same information lands differently depending on who delivers it. Cohen explains: "You can get the same piece of information and depending on who is giving it to you, you might respond really differently." Advice from a family member who "feels like they have the right to tell me how to live" lands differently than advice from a friend who has been chosen, whose values you respect, and whose judgment you trust. That trusted friend, Cohen says, is "really capable of moving the needle" on major life decisions.