Inspiration for the Nation with Yaakov Langer
Inspiration for the Nation with Yaakov Langer

Henchy Cohen: Staying Frum After My Chasidish Mother Went "Off The Derech"

December 13, 2025

AI Summary

5 min read

When Henchy Cohen was in fifth grade, she came downstairs and saw her mother standing on the porch, wearing jeans and smoking a cigarette. That was the moment she understood a choice was coming: follow her mother out of religious life, or fight for something else. She chose the latter. But what makes her story unusual is not that she stayed frum while her mother went "off the derech." It is that she never resented her mother for it, never felt torn between two loyalties, and credits the very person who left Orthodox Judaism with giving her the emotional foundation to stay.

Henchy grew up in a Chasidish home in Boro Park. Her parents divorced when she was seven, and by fifth grade her mother had begun transitioning away from religious observance. Henchy found herself living in two worlds: going to Williamsburg for Shabbos with her father, speaking Yiddish and wearing a denim skirt, then coming home to a mother who wore jeans. At the time, a parent leaving religious life was not discussed openly. It was shameful, hush-hush, something you did not bring up. Henchy was the only girl she knew whose parents were divorced, let alone whose mother was no longer frum.

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What you'll learn

  • 1 (00:00) **Introduction: The Dilemma of a Child with a Parent Who Left** - Host Yaakov Langer introduces Henchy Cohen, who grew up in a Chasidish home but faced a unique challenge when her mother left Orthodox Judaism after her parents' divorce.
  • 2 (01:35) **Childhood in Two Worlds: Divorce and a Mother's Transition** - Henchy describes growing up in Boro Park and Monsey, navigating her parents' divorce at age seven and her mother's gradual move away from religious life starting around fifth grade.
  • 3 (03:10) **The Shame and Silence of a "Non-Frum" Parent** - She explains the taboo of having a parent who left religion in the Chasidish community, and how she learned to adapt and figure out her own identity without pressure from either side.
  • 4 (04:31) **Growing Up Fast and Finding Clarity** - Henchy reflects on the maturity forced upon her, including taking care of her younger sister and handling social rejection when a friend's mother forbade the friendship due to her family situation.
  • 5 (07:35) **The Key Question: Why Stay Frum?** - Henchy shares the common question she receives: why she chose to remain religious when she could have easily followed her mother's path.
  • 6 (10:41) **No Self-Blame for the Divorce** - Henchy says she never blamed herself for her parents' divorce, crediting her parents for making her feel loved despite the conflict, though her siblings had different relationships with their father.
  • 7 (14:59) **Balancing Worlds: High School Interviews and Camp** - Henchy recounts specific scenarios where her two worlds collided, such as her mother accompanying her to high school interviews.

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Show Notes

Inspiration for the Nation is the weekly Jewish podcast from Living Lchaim, hosted by Yaakov Langer.


Henchy Cohen opens up about her parents’ divorce - a split that forced her, at just seven years old, to live between two opposite worlds: her father’s Hasidic community and her mother’s secular life. She talks about the confusion, the judgment, and the quiet strength it took to hold her family together while figuring out who she was. Through it all, Henchy never lost her sense of faith or drive - turning a painful divide into the foundation for a life built on clarity, compassion, and conviction.


Her IG: https://www.instagram.com/henchy2.0/


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_____________________________________


✬ IN MEMORY OF ✬


This episode is in memory of:

• Miram Sarah bas Yaakov Moshe

• Shimon Dovid ben Yaakov Shloima


This episode is for the speedy recovery of:

• Yosef Chaim ben Devorah Chaya Golda


#iftn Lchaim.

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