GOONS
GOONS

#264 - Swagger got violated by TSA!

September 7, 2026

AI Summary

5 min read

The GOONS crew is back from a chaotic Toronto trip, and the episode opens with Swagger recounting a TSA nightmare that turned into a bizarre fan encounter. He was flagged at security because his Gamer Supps energy drink cans triggered the explosive swab machine. A new agent swabbed every item in his bag three times, gave him an "over-the-jeans handjob" pat-down, and then—after recognizing him—whispered, "No fucking way. Are you who I think I am?" The agent let him through, but the real disaster was yet to come: his flight was canceled due to weather, United refused to give him a hotel voucher, he spent an hour screaming "Agent!" into a landline robot, and he had to pay for a hotel himself during a sold-out Rush concert weekend. The next day, his rebooked 8 PM flight was also canceled, forcing him to crash in a friend's apartment guest room—only for the building's fire alarm to send him sprinting down 11 flights of stairs with all his luggage. United later offered him a $150 voucher, which he accepted, and then rejected his detailed complaint with a sad-face emoji.

The Toronto Studio Disaster

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What you'll learn

  • 1 (01:30) **Welcome Back and Trip Recap** - The crew returns after a four-episode Toronto recording trip, settling in with banter about Swagger's jacket and McNasty's infamous "fleshlight melee" story.
  • 2 (05:35) **Toronto Studio Disaster** - A detailed, frustrated account of the terrible studio experience in Toronto that ruined multiple recording sessions.
  • 3 (13:25) **"We Don't Hate Each Other"** - Addressing viewer comments that Sylvie and McNasty have beef, the crew explains the exhaustion of a four-day drinking trip.
  • 4 (18:18) **Swagger's TSA Nightmare and Flight Cancellation** - The episode's centerpiece story: Swagger's brutal experience getting stuck in Toronto after his flight was canceled.
  • 5 (31:30) **Stranded in Toronto** - Swagger's second day of misery, including a shady dispensary, a second flight cancellation, and a fire alarm.
  • 6 (40:15) **Toronto Wrap-Up and Future Plans** - The crew reflects on the trip and discusses potential new content formats.
  • 7 (44:00) **The Shrinking Gooch Conspiracy** - A bizarre, pseudo-scientific tangent about microplastics shrinking the distance between men's balls and anus.

+ Full timestamped outline available in the app

Show Notes

Swagger got in big trouble!!

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