AI Summary
5 min readA Manhole Cover Shot Into Space, and Other Things the Goons Discuss
The fastest-moving object humans have ever created was a manhole cover. During an underground nuclear test, a four-inch-thick steel plate sitting on top of the test shaft was blasted upward at an estimated 125,000 miles per hour—fast enough to escape Earth's gravity entirely. It likely disintegrated from atmospheric friction within half a second, but for that brief moment, it was the fastest thing we've ever made. The hosts of GOONS stumble onto this fact while cycling through a green-screen bit where one of them is floating through space, and it sets the tone for an episode that ricochets between nuclear propulsion history, the ethics of child actors, and the logistics of urinating in public.
The Enhanced Games and the Limits of Steroids
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What you'll learn
- 1 (00:00) **Cold Open: Ad Reads and Banter** - A series of pre-recorded ads for MSC Cruises, Nesquik, and Ziploc, followed by the hosts (McNasty, and others) riffing on green screens, manhole covers shot into space by nuclear tests, and the concept of nuke-powered spacecraft.
- 2 (05:01) **Return to the Pod & Visual Chaos** - The hosts acknowledge the visual chaos of the green screen, discuss Discord, and mock McNasty's on-screen appearance, comparing him to an emoji and a bodybuilder.
- 3 (08:24) **Chubbs Shorts Ad & Enhanced Games Debate** - A live-read ad for Chubbs shorts, followed by a discussion about the "Enhanced Games" (steroid games) and the effectiveness of steroids on already elite athletes.
- 4 (10:31) **Golf as a Spectator Sport** - The hosts discuss the changing physique of golfers, the strict etiquette of tournaments, and the notoriously rowdy "Waste Management Open" in Scottsdale.
- 5 (12:55) **Gamersupps & Mold Update** - A live-read ad for Gamersupps, including a joke about "Grandma's ashes" turning your poop green, followed by a discussion about the mold on a drink and the concept of "the mother" in kombucha.
- 6 (15:37) **Soap, Scratching, and Spongebob** - The hosts riff on scratching their assholes with a new bar of soap, the feeling of rounding off the soap's edges, and McNasty's green screen antics.
- 7 (17:30) **Nesquik & Ziploc Ads / Childhood Cartoons** - A second round of pre-recorded ads, followed by a tier list of favorite childhood cartoons, focusing on Nickelodeon and Dan Schneider's weird foot fetish.
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Show Notes
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