How Transparent Should I Be About My Money? (Tori’s Interview on The Real Stuff with Lucie Fink)

July 21, 2026

AI Summary

5 min read

When Tori Dunlap, host of the Financial Feminist podcast, bought her first house, she faced a question that had nothing to do with interest rates or square footage: Should she tell people how much it cost? She is a multimillionaire who runs a multi-million dollar business and has built a career on radical financial transparency. Yet even she felt nervous about the house being "the first physical manifestation of my wealth." That tension—between wanting to be open about money and feeling the weight of social judgment—is the thread running through this conversation with Lucie Fink on The Real Stuff. The episode is a practical guide to navigating financial conversations with partners, friends, and yourself, grounded in the psychology of why money feels so taboo.

The Green Flag Test: What to Look for in a Partner

Dunlap met her current partner at a bar, and on their first date, the check arrived. He looked at it, looked at her, and hesitated. "I would really like to pay, but I don't want to offend you," he said. For Dunlap, that moment was the best possible sign. "He's willing to be uncomfortable," she explains. "He's willing to have even two hours in a potentially awkward moment to make sure he's respecting my feelings."

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What you'll learn

1 (00:02) **Financial Transparency and Boundaries** - Tori introduces the core tension: being open about wealth while maintaining personal financial boundaries.
2 (01:03) **Episode Preview: House, Partner, and Financial Infidelity** - Tori and Lucie outline the major topics: buying a house solo, talking money with a partner, and the "spiciest" topic—financial infidelity.
3 (05:33) **The Haters: Insecure Men and Internalized Misogyny** - Tori discusses the backlash she receives for being a successful, visible female entrepreneur and how she processes criticism from both men and women.
4 (11:22) **Buying a House Solo: The Decision and the Math** - Tori walks through her recent decision to buy a house on her own, including the financial and emotional considerations.
5 (17:40) **Mortgage vs. Cash: Why Debt Can Be Smart** - Tori explains her choice to take out a mortgage despite having the cash, and reframes the stigma around debt for the wealthy.
6 (21:06) **The Rental Agreement with a Partner** - Tori details the practical and emotional process of drafting a rental agreement with her partner when he moved into her house.
7 (25:45) **Dating with a Massive Income Discrepancy** - Tori shares how she and her partner (who makes ~$70k to her millions) navigate the financial gap, from the first date to ongoing conversations.

+ Full timestamped outline available in the app

Guests on this episode

Tori Dunlap

Show Notes

This week, we’re bringing you a special replay crossover episode with Lucie Fink — podcast host, video producer, digital educator, and host of “The Real Stuff with Lucie Fink.” In this insightful conversation, Tori details her journey to becoming a multimillionaire, demystifying the concept of "coast FIRE" and the significance of reaching that initial $100,000 savings goal. Tori generously shares her knowledge on effective investment strategies and highlights the power of financial literacy. This discussion goes beyond building wealth — it's a call to normalize conversations about money, sex, societal norms, and navigating the balance between privacy and openness in our personal lives.

Lucie’s links:

The Real Stuff Podcast: https://lnk.to/TheRealStuffWithLucieFink

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/luciebfink/

Talking about money with your partner can be hard, but it’s necessary. Visit https://herfirst100k.com/ffpod to download our Money Conversation Cards –– 30 question cards to help spark fun, intimate, and beneficial conversations about money with your partner.
00:00 The power of financial stability

07:16 From her first $100K to multi-millionaire

29:41 Navigating the challenges of financial transparency and safety

39:12 Authenticity, success, and mental health online

40:17 Addressing internet trolls and financial transparency

41:42 Navigating body image

47:50 Exploring confidence, pain, and self-care

50:07 Discussing future plans and personal growth

51:57 The realities of publishing and achieving milestones

54:39 Personal relationships and privacy boundaries

01:03:17 The importance of financial conversations in relationships

01:11:00 Understanding prenups and financial independence

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