The Butthole Has Landed

The party is airborne, flying south toward a burning beet farm. Mo's intelligence from eavesdropping has led them to a Charlemagne family holding under active attack. From 120 feet out, the scene resolves into tactical clarity: two brutish melee fighters engaging farmers and a guard, while a central caster—the blood mage—directs the assault with two priests flanking. Juniper, Quinny, and Butthole have ten minutes of flight magic and a plan to take prisoners alive if possible.

The engagement unfolds in layers

Juniper opens with a Moonbeam cast at level three, a forty-foot-high cylinder of radiant light that catches the central caster and one priest. The caster saves for half damage; the priest takes the full seventeen. Quinny follows, unleashing three beams from his Eldritch Blast—a power he's just discovered he had all along due to a leveling error. One beam connects, dealing force damage and repelling the caster ten feet backward. She lands on her feet, hissing, her armor bearing the telltale iron-fell embellishments of a Fashah caster but without the open blood mage sigil they expected.