A Portal Full of Pranks

The portal in the desert bunker had been mocking Alan, repeating her own words back at her. It had been taunting Quinny with a machine gun. It had been blasting the intro of a Venga Boys song on endless loop for Butthole. But when Alan removed the crystal power source, the harassment stopped instantly. When she put the crystal back in, the portal stayed quiet. The pranks were coming from inside the portal itself — something was living in there.

The Investigation

The party had gathered in a secret desert bunker containing four confiscated portals — one from the town square and three others seized from black market dealers. With them were Sheamus (their local portal expert), Bob Barker (a portal technician), and a small unit of hammerers for security. Alan had been summoned back from Castle Ravenloft specifically for this problem.

As the team began dismantling the portals systematically, Butthole wandered around using his signature investigative technique: a single "guidance fart" followed by aimless wandering, sniffing, and touching things. His roll of 28 revealed that one portal in particular was the source of the disturbances. When Alan removed the crystal from that portal, the Venga Boys loop cut out. When she put it back, nothing happened. Whatever had been causing the mischief seemed to have been silenced — or killed.