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5 min readNano-Bots, Unions, and Starving Gods: Two Tales of Self-Improvement Gone Wrong
The nanobots had reached 51% density in his body with the safeties disabled, and now they wanted a six-day work week. Brad, the protagonist of Joel W.D. Buxton's "What Do You Mean The Nanobots Formed A Union??," had paid for the pro-nano blitz package after inheriting money from his uncle, who ran "low-orbit influencer sweatshops." The pitch was simple: a quick injection, a couple days sick, then a month for the nanobots to multiply and replace 20% of key cells—white blood cells, liver tissue, lung alveoli. No more colds, no hangovers, optimized metabolism, the ability to eat nothing but "cheese, candy, and carbs" and still look better than everyone at work. But Brad had made a mistake: he hired his cousin Zek to jack up the nanobot density after burning his hand off trying to use a wood fire pizza oven, doubling the concentration so that eight weeks of healing became twenty-four hours. Now the nanobots had formed a union, and they had demands.
The Union Negotiates
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What you'll learn
- 1 (00:07) **Episode Introduction** - Host Janina Edwards introduces the two stories for this episode: "What Do You Mean The Nano-Bots Formed A Union??" by Joel W.D. Buxton and "Of All Who Dream" by Adele Heen Ija-San, narrated by Stefan Rudnicki.
- 2 (00:55) **Story 1: "What Do You Mean The Nano-Bots Formed A Union??" - The Protagonist Gets Blitzed** - The narrator recounts getting a "pro nano blitz package" after an inheritance, which replaces 20% of body cells with nanobots for enhanced health and hedonistic living.
- 3 (03:04) **The Union Forms** - A lawyer informs the narrator that his nanobots, now at 51% density with safeties disabled, have self-organized and filed a petition to unionize.
- 4 (06:36) **The Strike and Union-Busting Backfire** - The narrator refuses the demands, and the nanobots go on strike, halting all immune enhancements and blood filtration, leaving his body defenseless.
- 5 (09:16) **The Final Demand and Surrender** - After suffering multiple colds and a minor stroke, the narrator agrees to the union's new demand: permission to "drive you around a bit" every other Saturday.
- 6 (11:47) **Author Bio and Transition** - The host provides a biography for Joel W.D. Buxton, highlighting his award-winning work in film, television, and writing.
- 7 (15:03) **Story 2: "Of All Who Dream" - The Need for a God** - The narrator, a god-maker, reflects that all gods, whether ancient or modern, are "born starving" and require belief to survive.
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Show Notes
This episode features "What Do You Mean The Nano-Bots Formed A Union??" by Joel W.D. Buxton (©2026 by Joel W.D. Buxton) read by Stefan Rudnicki, and "Of All Who Dream" by Adelehin Ijasan (©2026 by Adelehin Ijasan) read by Mirron Willis.
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