Asmongold TV
Asmongold TV

Ubisoft's Billion Dollar Game Lost To This.. | Asmongold

July 3, 2026

AI Summary

5 min read

"22k as a peak is solid. No, it should be 220k." That's Asmongold, mid-rant, comparing the player count of a Yakuza spin-off to what he thinks it deserves. The game in question is Like a Dragon: Pirate Yakuza in Hawaii, and he cannot stop talking about it. The episode is a long, winding, and deeply enthusiastic monologue about why this game works so well, and what its existence says about the state of big-budget game development.

The central thesis is that Pirate Yakuza in Hawaii is a masterclass in "simple fun" that exposes how incompetent and out-of-touch major Western studios like Ubisoft have become. Asmongold argues that the game, built quickly from reused assets and existing engine tech, delivers more joy, depth, and player engagement than many AAA titles that cost hundreds of millions and took years to develop. The episode is not a review; it is a comparative indictment.

The Ubisoft Contrast

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What you'll learn

  • 1 (00:30) **Asmongold's Yakuza Pirate Discovery** - Asmongold explains he's been playing the new Yakuza Pirate spin-off off-stream and is blown away by its quality and fun.
  • 2 (01:31) **The Yakuza Formula: Unhinged Fun** - Describes the chaotic, joyful nature of Yakuza games, comparing them to "cocaine did LSD then smoked a bull."
  • 3 (03:08) **The Core Thesis: Yakuza Exposes AAA Incompetence** - Asmongold states his main argument: Yakuza's simple fun highlights how incompetent Ubisoft is.
  • 4 (04:45) **Pirate Yakuza: Built Cheap, Plays Gold** - The game was made quickly ("in a cave with a box of scrap") and cheaply, yet its weakest mini-game is excellent.
  • 5 (07:25) **Ubisoft's Mini-Game Failure vs. Yakuza's Success** - Circles back to Ubisoft, arguing that even their mini-games are outclassed by Yakuza's.
  • 6 (10:42) **The Coliseum: A Battle of Mental Illnesses** - Describes the Coliseum mini-game as a "deadliest warrior" where the question is "what mental illness is the strongest in battle."
  • 7 (14:31) **Gambling and the "American Card Game"** - Asmongold discusses his love for gambling in the game, specifically poker, and his disdain for complex Japanese card games.

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Show Notes

Ubisoft's Billion Dollar Game Lost To This.. Subscribe to Asmongold TV on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AsmonTV Disclaimer: This podcast is an independent project created by a viewer using content from the YouTube channel Asmongold TV. The purpose is to make his content more accessible to those who prefer audio formats, helping more people engage with the ideas presented in his videos. This podcast is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or officially associated with Asmongold. All rights to the original content remain with Asmongold TV. If there are any concerns or requests regarding this podcast, please reach out. --- Keywords: game criticism, gaming reactions, reaction videos, twitch clips, gaming hot takes, streamer reactions

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