Nicole Avant on ‘Standing in Faith’ After Mom's Murder

July 9, 2026

AI Summary

5 min read

Nicole Avant’s mother, Jacqueline, was 81 years old when she was shot to death by an intruder in her own home. The violence of the death did not just shatter Avant’s life—it reshaped how she grieved. Instead of staying with the final image of her mother in a hospital, Avant found herself reaching backward, into her mother’s childhood. She called her mother’s old friends from high school. She wanted to know what song Jacqueline loved in 1957. “I was grieving the young Jacqueline Avant before I was even born,” she tells Anderson Cooper. “It completely fulfilled a hole that I didn’t even know that I had in my heart.”

That impulse—to recover the person her mother was before she became a mother—became the organizing principle of Avant’s grief. It was not an escape from the trauma. It was a deliberate act of reconnection, and it changed the texture of her loss.

The only way out is through

Avant’s mother gave her a line that she repeats like a mantra: “The only way out is through.” There are no shortcuts. You have to feel the sadness, the anger, the laughter, the joy. “That is the gift of being alive,” Avant says. “The sad ones remind you that you’re human, which is a good thing.”

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What you'll learn

1 (00:00) **Episode Introduction & Grief Check-In** - Anderson Cooper introduces guest Nicole Avant, a producer and former diplomat whose mother, Jacqueline Avant, was murdered in 2021 at age 81. Anderson asks how grief has changed for her over several years.
2 (02:11) **Grieving the Young Jacqueline** - Nicole describes how the violence of her mother's death made her want to connect with her mother's childhood, calling friends from high school to ask about her favorite songs and memories.
3 (04:08) **The Night of the Murder** - Nicole recounts the phone call from her husband Ted Sarandos waking her up to say her mother had been shot, and the surreal hospital scene where her father Clarence Avant blamed himself for not moving fast enough at age 90.
4 (06:03) **Compounding Grief & Moving Dad In** - Nicole reveals that her husband Ted was already grieving his own father's death when her mother was killed, and that her father moved in with them directly from the hospital.
5 (08:39) **Revenge Energy and the House** - Nicole admits she was "very angry" and had a lot of "revenge energy" inside her, feeling furious and not caring about life.
6 (10:36) **Mom's Lessons on Death and Light** - Nicole shares that her mother taught her "inside the circle of life is death," and took her to the funeral of an 8-year-old student to show her that "in the worst of times, you will find really good people."
7 (11:53) **Remembering Jacqueline's Extraordinary Nature** - Nicole recalls being embarrassed as a child by her mother's flamboyant outfits at report card days, but now understands and celebrates her mother's uniqueness.

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Show Notes

Nicole Avant’s 81-year-old mother, Jacqueline, was murdered in 2021 by an intruder in her home. Nicole’s father, Clarence, came to live with her and died peacefully, two years later, when he was 92. She talks with Anderson Cooper about leaning on faith and connecting with her parents now through music. For more of “All There Is with Anderson Cooper” visit cnn.com/allthereis.

Host: Anderson Cooper Showrunner: Haley Thomas Producers: Emily Williams and Kyra Dahring Video Editor: Eric Zembrzuski Technical Director: Dan Dzula Bookers: Kerry Rubin and Kari Pricher

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