The Loneliness of Grief

Isaiah Thomas, the two-time NBA All-Star who stands five-foot-nine, was preparing for the 2017 Eastern Conference playoffs when his youngest sister China died in a single-car crash in Washington State. She was about to turn twenty-three. The day after her death, Thomas played Game 1 against the Chicago Bulls with China's name written on his shoes, scoring 33 points in 38 minutes. A few weeks later, on what would have been her twenty-third birthday, he scored a career-high 53 points in an overtime victory against the Washington Wizards. But in a conversation with Anderson Cooper, Thomas makes clear that these performances were not acts of strength. They were acts of survival—and the grief he carried then has not diminished.

"I'm not here"

Thomas describes the moment he learned of China's death. His teammate and childhood friend Avery Bradley pulled him aside in the locker room before practice. Thomas called his father, who could barely speak. "I've only seen my dad cry like three or four times," Thomas says. "So I didn't know what to do. I couldn't go to him. He couldn't go to me. I couldn't go to anybody."