The Most Absurd Guns in the Adeptus Astartes | Warhammer 40k Lore

September 2, 2026

AI Summary

5 min read

The Most Absurd Guns in the Adeptus Astartes

When Games Workshop announced a plastic Thunderhawk, the internet exploded. Then the article loaded, and it turned out to be a crashed Thunderhawk terrain piece—the same joke they'd pulled years earlier with a tiny Aeronautica Imperialis version. "Both times I saw a headline and went, oh my god, they're finally doing it," DK says. "And both times I clicked the article and went, you absolute..." This bait-and-switch sets the tone for an episode that asks a deceptively simple question: once you stop to think about the guns space marines carry, how much of it actually makes sense?

The Baseline Absurdity

The episode's throughline is that space marine weaponry is weird even when it's standard issue. A bolter fires "a bullet the size of a Pepsi can full of razor wire"—that's already absurd, but familiarity makes it feel normal. The hosts walk through several weapons that were once common but have since become arcane or lost.

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What you'll learn

1 Timestamped Outline
2 (00:13) **Episode Opening & Banter** - DK and Bricky introduce the episode with casual chatter about a Sega event and Total War Warhammer 40K
3 (01:44) **The Plastic Thunderhawk Reveal Discussion** - The hosts break down the long-awaited plastic Thunderhawk announcement and their disappointment
4 (05:44) **Sponsorship & Channel Business** - Brief segment covering Patreon, merch, and upcoming product announcements
5 (08:28) **Episode Setup & Quotes** - Kirioth introduces the episode's theme with two thematic quotes
6 (09:43) **Episode Scope & Framework** - The hosts outline what they will and won't cover in this episode
7 (12:41) **Volkite Weapons** - Explanation of the ancient and barely-understood Volkite technology

+ Full timestamped outline available in the app

Show Notes

https://www.patreon.com/AdeptusRidiculous
https://www.adeptusridiculous.com/
https://twitter.com/AdRidiculous
https://shop.orchideight.com/collections/adeptus-ridiculous

When you really stop to think about it, Space Marine weapons make absolutely no sense. Sure, we all blindly accept genetically modified super soldiers firing Pepsi-can-sized bullets packed with razor wire, but that is just the tip of the iceberg. This week, Bricky, DK, and Kirioth are diving deep into the absolute absurdity of the Adeptus Astartes arsenal to look at the weirdest, most broken, and outright illegal firearms in the galaxy: from lost Dark Age of Technology relics to chaotic master-crafted monstrosities, the Imperium has dreamed up some truly unhinged ways to rapid-fire war crimes across the battlefield. We are checking out lost art of Volkite and Phosphex combustion weapons, why Conversion Beamers require the operator to stand perfectly still on an anti-grav platform, and exploring exactly why the Deathwatch gets to horde all the most broken toys.

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